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Every Day I'm Less Zen

by Shutups

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1.
“that’s a long time to be on fire” High energy sitting still on a couch for free complete with the sound of everything nowhere to be found and ur blurry eyes fail to see what’s passing by ur life is a waste man 26 without a plan and thats a long time to be on fire held my breath found no desire I’d rather die young down days dirty clothes I’ve had this cold all summer and burnt out flee the streets I keep my receipts when I eat out and thats a long time to be on fire did my time no work for hire but I still work for something my brand new color glows entertains nobody knows day breaks but I’ve been woke all night gotta keep the fire bright live to fight another fight high energy put my hand in the flame for heat I'll keep to myself for the coming weeks no need to reach out and it’s a long time to be on fire put my faith in amplifiers I can’t separate my self from you I’m forever blue, this god awful tune keeps ringing out
2.
Cement Hands 03:39
“Cement Hands” 10:20 AM my heart is in a pinch cause Allison sweating out those toxins cause my Mom made me take my vitamins, and I never once said grace, out aloud Satan lives in Barstow on the edge of the town where nobody goes, and it’s a shame that ur not here cubed ice and my velvet spirit crushed by cement hands it’s my heart I’ll be the one to break it but ur my only hammer cigarettes burnt out dude I’m totally blitzed lay down in defeat Evil Empire maybe but honestly I’m just trying sleep I don’t think I’ve been an ass, but if you said I was I wouldn’t protest Satan takes his coffee with a side of my soul when nobody is home, and it’s a shame that ur not here cubed ice and my velvet spirit crushed by cement hands it’s my heart I’ll be the one to break it turn my face red, breath or I’m dead seeing stars makes me wanna drink some beer but you shook all the cans cubed ice and my velvet spirit crushed by everything you said all the feelings are gone I guess I’m better off with crushing on myself
3.
“Jaywalk Over Me” You’re my number one you always have been beaten tattered and worn but catch me dead wearing you and I don’t care what they say I think you’re pretty broken shoes of mine dressed all in black like ur Dad’s heart attack something brought me down but I don’t disagree jaywalk over me but sliding styrofoam it breaks my teeth even now where you stand you know I’m faking I'm disappointing at best, at least my handwritings neat and everybody cares they just don’t show it yea everybody cares beat the shit out of love I left it bleeding oh honey it could be easy I just can’t open up and peace of mind isn’t cheap but thanks for asking broken shoes of mine dressed all in black like ur Dad’s heart attack something got me high but I don’t disagree jaywalk over me but sliding styrofoam it breaks my teeth jaywalk over me yea ur a suicide, like a knot untied jaywalk over me but sliding styrofoam it breaks my teeth jaywalk over me yea ur a suicide and I'm only getting older baby
4.
“Almost Won The Lotto” All I hear is a problem candy coated pieces yea I want some how's ur income? mine is barely incoming every week is the same in a different place I'm someone new still looking out for something to prove and I don't mean to be rude mistaken for another son almost won the lotto but I don’t really know what's up with everyone I skipped a beat and now I’m off tropical or the disco seven hours late cause I can’t choose between a button up and some shoes stood in line for a movie with a plot that mirrors that of mine stood quietly like the poster implied all I heard was a problem
5.
Telephone 03:38
“Telephone” When ur bored you keep a diary but you’re mostly concerned with anarchy you'd disagree with anybody’s father over dinner and I could count the ways that you hate this place but time would be better spent in another way outdone by a younger age you're working at the bank making minimum wage try’n to find a love with a face you can fall asleep to every night and they’ve walked you home said goodnight and you closed the door cry till its alright it’s who you are when they're gone they remind you ur alone it’s who you are when they’re gone tell em off on ur telephone some days girl ur winnin' focused and committed too tall for the ceiling run away tell em what your mom said they'll only love you in bed just because they opened the door doesn’t make em a saint and you could talk to boys that are still up late but time would be better spent in another way sleep tight hold onto ur dream for the night summer wipe me away till I'm just sunburnt with nothing to say watch you going I can't believe it never got this close to love I've been dreaming of it
6.
Yellowjacket 03:01
“Yellowjacket" Getting sick of blaming shit on art been tired of always missing out mutilate by pulling things apart always gonna be the one that lets you down eyes rolled back I need some slack got no space without yellowjacket stung in passing sleep on your couch never cut my hair without regret clipped off the ends and I’m upset now cold sick fever pitch I slept the whole year
7.
Apple Salad 02:11
“Apple Salad” Who’s been calling me with blocked identity asking for a check never let me breath all I ever learned was how to wait my turn and I woke up dead asleep in a king bed on the street I hate this overplayed feeling of losing my brain I’ll try to explain I’ll clean off the apples throw the rest down the drain me with no self-esteem I’m forever sorry tell your mother it’s fine hanging out to dry nothing realized block me from the sun my baby eyes Sancho found a turd pictures worth some words and I think I found the dream but it seems too cool for me now all of your friends they think I’m a loser cuz my Waldorf’s been washed clean but it makes me feel like things might be alright
8.
Smile 03:59
“Smile” Light a match and watch it burn never got to say how I feel shoulda learnt to stop myself now I’m drinking cause it hurts cable news is all I know ask me what I should be thinking left my house today and nothing is new everybody’s got someone whats the time my phones dead sunlights out so I’m in I laugh it off till I smile inside can you say that thought again lose my place in conversation close my eyes behind my sunglasses fading out on all my friends that use to be mine I laugh it off till I smile inside pretending that I’m nothing
9.
“Holiday Punch” I’m here and nobody’s face reminds me of anybody I’ve seen alone I count the Christmas tree lights one at a time even I’m leaving if its odd I’m out to find some weed but I lost count between the lines and the color scheme eyes I’m aiming not to meet them I move to start drinking in fact I’ve never felt this happy but now you approach me hey man how’s it hanging? reaches out to bump my fist I miss and punch his shoulder trying to recover have you been working out?
10.
“Don’t Waste Ur Time” I saw you in a dream and you didn’t say hi but it wasn’t a dream I was just fucking high never wanna be any better than this working for someone in american bliss dumping all my memories I guess i’m to blame if I forget Quinn don’t tell me your name I don’t really mind your loving yea the way you kiss is alright know you don’t like them bad times but I sure don’t see no good ones I could be your man don’t waste your time boy what I wanna do doesn’t matter to you don’t bother calling my bills over due I just wanna lay in a puddle of waste eating my coffee and hiding my face
11.
Gold Shoes 03:35
“Gold Shoes” Kicked off the team I need a moment pains the culprit an elevated place inside my mind taxidermic faces I’m feeling nauseous this is boss shit my tongue is numb so everything tastes fine wish you told me sooner pixelated trash It’s all I ever eat standing alone I need a buzzing battery licker radio show me something I don't know paint a scene that feels real like a home far away from number one starving all my friends of love I feel fake and ultra dumb buzzing feel the current fill myself I just learned how to fly in my new gold shoes
12.
“I Wanna Crash Classic Cars” I don't know what blood is Payton's right the suns in where'd it start to go wrong Payton says I'm humming can't find luck in nothing nothing's where I find home dating out of my league suffocate my feelings I've been doing it slow every night on the tube seen your face I kiss you Payton says I'm undone everyone knows your name asking how I'm doing what it takes to feel numb count my nails I'm missing Payton's good at kissing and leaving dust in the road miss the warmth of bodies fucked around at parties dragged it out for so long but every night on the phone dialing up the unknown Payton says I'm undone driving fast tonight but I only crash classic cars I got no appetite from the avalanche inside my heart I over everything man I wanna crash classic cars cut me off, and I'll go back to bed I'm alright things are going steady pacing super heavy who I am when ur gone only dream in numbers I don’t see no colors I turned the light off out front Payton's busy shopping TV sets been buzzing and I've been singing along but every night I tune in hear ur voice I'm listening Payton says I’m undone

credits

released July 12, 2019

Shutups are Hadley Davis & Mia Wood

All songs written and performed by Shutups
Produced by Cody Votolato
Mixed by Jarrett Killen
Engineered by Brent Lindemeyer
Mastered by Pat Kerns
Additional Engineering by Skyler Kilborn, Will Jenkins

Drums/Percussion: Mia Wood
Vocals: Hadley Davis
Lyrics: Hadley Davis
Guitar: Hadley Davis
Bass: Bud Armienti (tracks 2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 11)
Bass: Ian Idels (tracks 6, 7, 9)
Bass: Hadley Davis (tracks 1, 4, 12)
Keys: Hadley Davis

Guitar solo on track 4: Cody Votolato

Recorded between August 2017 and March 2018 in Long Beach at Astro Lizard Studios. Percussion was recorded in Oakland, CA with William Jenkins and additional vocals were recorded in San Ramon, CA with Skyler Kilborn.
Additional guitars and all keyboards were recorded in Oakland in Hadley's bedroom.

Tracks 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, and 11 were written in Hadley's bedroom in Oakland, CA.
Track 6 was partially written in Shutups' rehearsal space in the Fruitvale district of Oakland, CA. The song was completed in Hadley’s bedroom.
Tracks 9 and 10 were written in Hadley's parent's living room in Livermore, CA.
Track 12 was written in Hadley's bedroom at his parents house in Livermore, CA in 2014.
Track 8 was written on Hadley's grandfather's back porch in La Quinta, CA. It was released on "LP2" in 2016 and then rewritten in Hadley's bedroom in Oakland in 2017/18.
Bass parts for tracks 2, 6, 7, and 9 were written by Ian Idels in San Francisco, CA.

Cover concept by Hadley Davis, photographed by Nate Gilchrest. Features Mia's right boot on the back of Hadley's head. Shot in the backyard of Nate's childhood home in Livermore, CA.

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